Guru

first_imgRelated posts:No related photos. GuruOn 16 Oct 2001 in Personnel Today Comments are closed. Previous Article Next Article This week’s guruAnd the prize goes to the lady with no teethWith compensation culture damaging many employers in the UK, Guru feels itis time he launched his own version of the Stella Awards. These wouldacknowledge the most frivolous and unjust lawsuits in the US. Recent nominees include a Philadelphia restaurant being forced to pay acustomer $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx.Nothing funny there, except that the beverage was on the floor because she hadjust thrown it at her boyfriend during an argument. A lady also successfully sued a nightclub after she fell from the bathroomwindow and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while she was tryingto sneak through the window in the toilet to avoid paying an entrance fee. Shewas awarded $12,000 and dental expenses. Maybe we should have an award for the most outrageous tribunal application –any nominees? Cross-dressing gig at 35,000ft Laughs are understandably hard to come by in the airline industry at themoment. With swingeing job cuts and plummeting passenger numbers, airlines arehaving to come up with new ways of guaranteeing customer safety. US carriers are adopting the hard line approach. Many are pushing for armedguards to patrol passenger planes during the flight. EasyJet has come up with a more innovative approach. It has recruitedcross-dressing comedian John Linehan on Glasgow to Belfast flights, whose jobit is put people at ease at 35,000 feet. Guru (a nervous flyer at the best of times) thinks that this a much betteridea, but hopes that the cabaret qualities that lie within every steward andstewardess are not inflicted on the travelling public. How not to get ahead in HR Guru was impressed with the display of “HR with attitude” at theBoardroom HR conference earlier this month. Rather than the usual dull advice on how to impress the board, the delegatesat the joint Personnel Today and TMP Worldwide event put together a list of themost impressive ways to fail in HR. Guru’s top five were: 1. Be really nice to everyone all of the time, 2. Appearreally bored when business performance is discussed, 3. Create another piece ofpaperwork, 4. Spend ages arguing whether HR is the best job title, 5. Inventanother competency-based model. Far from sucking up to the chief executive, HR has got to be tough andchallenge him, delegates were told by Tesco’s head of HR Clare Chapman.”Be prepared to be bold and be fired,” she declared. Distract Gurufrom polishing up the “hobbies” section of his CV by sending him abetter top five. Here’s Graham with a quick recapExplain how you would persuade Patrick Vieira to wear a dress? This isn’tsome strange football fantasy that Guru has been harbouring for years, but oneof the worst interview questions ever asked, according to recruitment agencyAccountemps.Guru would have praised the Arsenal midfielder for his lovely legs andremarked that an above-the-knee hemline was the best way to show them off.Other questions were not so easy, such as, “What would you do if you founda crocodile in the bath?” Apparently, bludgeoning it to death with abottle of Listerine is not the correct answer.It is all an attempt by recruiters to ask off-the-wall questions to gauge anapplicant’s unplanned response. “In the style of Graham from Blind Date,explain to me why you want this job,” was Guru’s particular favourite.last_img read more